


I'll use you as a focal point, so I don't lose sight of what I want.

by oathkeptroxas



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Pining, Secret Crush, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9677456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oathkeptroxas/pseuds/oathkeptroxas
Summary: You’re essential, he wanted to tell him. I look to you all the time. I don’t know how to stop.But what came out was, “Every team needs a sharpshooter.”





	

He still couldn’t believe that Shiro was gone. He’d vanished like smoke on the breeze right from under their noses, like it was all too easy to get to him. Keith must have searched the black lion a dozen times, for some clue, anything that might point them in the right direction. There was nothing. Searching the vastness of time and space would only prove to be a fruitless effort, but Keith would do it, if he had to. Keith would do anything to bring Shiro back. He wasn’t ready to be without him.

 

Shiro had believed in him, carried a faith that Keith himself could never possess. Shiro’d all but appointed him as second-in-command, insisting he pilot black should an event such as this one transpire. He briefly wondered if Shiro had known something like this would happen. He’d been trying to prepare him this whole time and Keith had been too stubborn, dug his heels in at every turn. He had been so ignorant, refused to acknowledge this as a possibility, couldn’t bare to think of it. Now, he was floundering.

 

He looked up at Red from where he was laid back on her paw. He returned his gaze to the black lion before him. It was late, the rest of the team had fallen into exhausted sleep, hours spent lamenting what went wrong and how things could’ve been different had just drained them further. But Keith was restless, though his eyes were heavy and his body achy from exertion, he couldn’t quiet his mind enough to lay down. He owed Shiro so much, there was so much expected of him now in the older boy’s absence. Shiro wanted him to be the black paladin, and Keith was caught between doing so out of obligation and respect for Shiro, or doing what he felt was right for himself and the team.

 

The truth was that Keith didn’t want to be black paladin. He loved Red. He had earned her loyalty and fierce protectiveness, he had mastered the most difficult lion. He was proud of that. He didn’t feel comfortable abandoning her for another. Not to mention, Shiro had only just managed to tap into some of Black’s more powerful abilities, and he’d been spending the whole time battling Zarkon for dominance because there was a part of Black still loyal to her former paladin. There’s no way Black would simply accept him. He sighed, and gave Red’s paw an affectionate pat, his eyes still glued to Black. He owed Shiro so much, but he didn’t know if he could give him this.

 

The hiss of the door startled him. Keith sat up to see Lance tiptoeing in. His brows pulled together quizzically as he watched his teammate maneuver in the semi-darkness, so far unaware of him. Keith didn’t know whether or not to make his presence known. He debated on whether or not to simply continue watching in silence to see what Lance was here for. But, ultimately, it had been a horrid day for all of them, and they each deserved the opportunity to cope in their own way, it wouldn’t be right for Keith to encroach on Lance’s privacy this way.

 

Keith couldn’t quite pinpoint when it started, he just knew that he liked Lance, a lot. He wished often that he and the other boy could find some common ground, could maintain a conversation without one of them making a misstep. The one thing that always drew Keith to Lance was his sense of false bravado. It was a habit they shared. As a deflection, to mask uncertainty, they portrayed a confidence they didn’t feel. Lance’s came out in flirtations and poorly executed jokes. Keith’s came out in sarcasm and biting remarks. When they clashed it was always blown out of proportion, neither one of them knowing where they stood with each other enough to recognize the line, until they’d already crossed it.

 

With a deep breath, preparing for the worst - when would he be able to approach Lance without having to have his guard up? - Keith called out to him. “Hey, Lance, are you alright?”

 

The blue paladin jumped, and pivoted to meet Keith’s eye. He seemed anxious, like he’d been caught red-handed, and Keith didn’t like it at all. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?” Keith guessed, wanting to put him at ease. “Me neither, I just-...I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now.” 

 

Lance’s face softened, and he rerouted himself to join Keith. He leaned against Red’s paw, between her claws, whilst Keith lounged above him. “It looks like you’re trying to burn a hole straight through Black with that stare,” Lance murmured after a second.

 

Keith shrugged and met Lance’s gaze. “Shiro wanted me to pilot her but I-...” he trailed off.

 

Lance rolled his top lip into his mouth, his expression twisted like he tasted something bitter. Keith mentally cursed himself. This was the root of all of their bickering. Lance felt like Keith had robbed something from him, that somehow Keith always seemed one step ahead. Lance had made fighter class because Keith got kicked out, that was the catalyst for Lance’s animosity. Lance felt that he’d only gotten to where he was because Keith had thrown his opportunity away, that he was the second-best, that he was the substitute. Lance probably thought that was how Keith saw him, so his bitterness manifested in their interactions. But, Keith didn’t think that, wouldn’t. Lance was an exceptional pilot, a dedicated team player, impressive marksman. He wished he could tell the other boy that without having his sincerity doubted.

 

“I don’t want to,” Keith finished on a sigh.

 

“What?!” Lance blurted, not so much angry as shocked. Keith closed his eyes against Lance’s incredulous expression. He supposed, to the other paladin, this would just be another opportunity to have what Lance wanted, another opportunity he was throwing away. Not that he really believed that Lance wanted the black lion specifically, but rather the recognition, the respect, the value that came with being leader. Lance wanted to be steadfast and irreplaceable part of the team, because he seemed to find it hard to believe that he already was.

 

“I just- I don’t think I can. I don’t have what it takes to be the leader that Voltron needs, that you deserve.” Keith finally admitted, he wanted to build bridges with Lance. The kindling feelings he had for the other pilot had left him drained over the previous months, always feeling like he was one step forward and two steps back every time they were in a room together. It was time to be real.

 

“Shiro seemed to think you did,” Lance pointed out quietly, the previous disbelieving frustration now absent from his face.

 

“And I’m grateful for that,” Keith began, he sat up and twined his hands together in his lap. “It means a lot to me, I can’t remember the last time someone believed in me like that. Shiro’s like-...He’s like the big brother I really could’ve used growing up, but...it’s not what’s best for the team.” He whispered. His head was bowed, and his lip was trembling, he couldn’t look at Lance, not when this was the most vulnerable he’d been in his presence.

 

“How’d you mean?” Lance asked, and Keith couldn’t believe just how  _ gentle _ he sounded.

 

“Remember when this all started, and Allura told us about the lions, and how the spirit of the paladin has to line up with the role they play?” Keith recapped, “She said that the black lion needed someone level-headed, someone decisive, someone  _ always in control _ ...that’s-...that’s not me.” He scrubbed a hand back through his hair, and once again his eyes landed on the black lion.

 

“Yeah, but Keith,  _ Zarkon  _ managed to pilot Black just fine.” Lance tried to placate, and he didn’t quite know when this had turned into him  _ comforting _ Keith, but for some reason he didn’t find the other boy quite so irritating anymore.

 

“Zarkon waited 10,000 years to get the black lion back. He’s patient, resilient. He’s dismantled and destroyed entire planets. He’s an efficient tactical commander. He may be corrupt in every sense of the word, but he has the base qualities of an incredible leader...I don’t.” Keith insisted.

 

They lapsed into silence then, neither one of them knowing what to say. It was the truth, indisputably. Keith laid back down against Red’s paw, he stretched an arm out to run his fingertips across the metal surface softly. He was more than happy staying as the right arm.

 

“Y’know, Keith, in that fight against Zarkon, when Shiro was out of it, you really held your own. You rounded us up. I guess...I could see where Shiro was coming from.” Lance rubbed nervously at the back of his neck as he spoke. It was his knee-jerk reaction to refute anything that would imply Keith as superior, but that was mostly habit at this point. If he were being honest, Keith was nothing like he’d perceived him to be. He’d stubbornly clutched onto his initial misconceptions to make himself feel better, and it had only fuelled an endless superficial rivalry that did nothing but distract and annoy them both. 

 

Keith’s gaze shot to Lance, momentarily amazed at what he’d heard, having never expected something like that. “I-...It was temporary, I just needed to buy us some time. It was  _ instinctive _ , not something that makes me qualified for leader.  _ Instinct _ is a key trait of the  _ red  _ paladin.”

 

Lance shrugged. “Say what you want, man. I call it as I see it.”

 

“What were you doing down here anyway?” Keith asked, growing ever more uncomfortable the longer the conversation was about him.

 

Lance flinched, unprepared for the turnabout. But, begrudgingly he had to admit it was only fair that he be honest. “I, uh...I come down here sometimes, when everyone’s sleeping. I come to sit with Blue. To  _ bond _ , or whatever…” He mumbled.

 

“Why’s that?” Keith asked, his eyebrow cocked up quizzically.

 

“I guess...I just sometimes feel like I contribute the least, y’know...So, I wanted to make sure that Blue and I are as solid as we can be. I wanna-...I wanna make sure that I earn the right to be her paladin.” Lance finally settled on, avoiding Keith’s eyes.

 

Keith sat up abruptly, searching Lance’s posture for any sign this was some joke, some ploy for attention. There was an uncomfortable feeling that settled in his gut. It was cloying like tar, thick and hot and made him feel queasy. It unsettled him to hear Lance talking about himself so negatively. Though he’d known the bravado was mostly falsified, had recognized the same tactics he utilized, it still didn’t sit well with him that Lance would feel that way.  _ You’re essential _ , he wanted to tell him.  _ I look to you all the time. I don’t know how to stop. _

 

But what came out was, “Every team needs a sharpshooter,” in a whisper soft voice, “We wouldn’t get by without you.”

 

The words, though not as reassuring as they could be, were spoken so seriously, with such a deep sincerity sparkling in his eyes. Lance met Keith’s gaze and they each offered a tiny smile. Lance moved a little closer, so that the back of his shoulder grazed Keith’s knee where he was now sitting cross-legged. It was nice. Seemingly without conscious thought, Keith stretched a hand out, his fingertips curling in the hairs at the nape of Lance’s neck. Lance stiffened, going completely ramrod straight under Keith’s touch, but he didn’t pull back. Keith rubbed the pad of his thumb in a small, soft caress across the boy’s skin, and Lance relaxed into it. 

 

There was something about the semi-darkness surrounding them, the late hour and the exhaustion weighing heavy on their minds and bodies. The mixed emotions and residual melancholy of the day left them feeling vulnerable, and strangely open in a way they hadn’t been before. Lance sighed a little wistfully. “So, you’re really not taking on Black, huh?” He asked a little wistfully.

 

Keith hummed, and continued his caresses. “I think Allura should do it.” 

 

“How come?” Lance asked, though he didn’t seem adverse to the idea, his posture remained unchanging.

 

“She knows more about the lions than any of us. She’s been our leader from the jump. She’s never steered us wrong. And when it came down to it, she took on the enemy face to face whilst injured because she was determined to get the job done. She’s smart, she’s capable. We all look to her without even thinking about it. She deserves it. And after everything that Zarkon has taken from her, it’s about time she took something of his.” Keith listed logically, he’d thought about this a lot. He’d thought about it all night. He’d been considering it for a while, ever since his Galra heritage was revealed and she’d refused to look at him, he thought about how that must have been for her. She looked at him and saw the race that had mercilessly destroyed everything that she’d ever cared for, she deserved to lead Voltron. She deserved to take the Galra down.

 

“You’re right,” Lance murmured softly. He peered over his shoulder to smile at Keith, the tip of Lance’s nose grazed the inside of Keith’s wrist from where his fingers were still twined in his hair.

  
Somehow, they were going to be okay.


End file.
